Contradiction

my life's been written
before it's over
I've become so predictable
that everything seems the same
but I know there's something more to this
I feel it in my emptiness
but I'm tied down by my insistent contradiction

my heart feels heavy
it carries oceans
and I drown in redundancy
and choke on stubbornness
and I feel it pushing down on me
I know this isn't right for me
but I can't bring myself to leave

I've seen this before
over and over again
I've felt this before
before I knew I wasn't really sure

and I'll keep searching here
for meaning to this life
but everything is meaningless
when you don't want to decide

my life's been written, it's over
and I drown in everything
and choke on wholly nothing
and this doesn't feel quite right to me
and I feel it closing in on me
but I don't think I know how to cease

this life's been written before
over and over again
and I know that I could be stronger
but I know this isn't the deepest I can dig myself

this hole gets deeper and deeper by the minute
I know it's caving in on me
and I feel you watching over me
as I suffocate in all my fear
these simple things are drowning me
I don't mean to be contradictory
but I never really know what to feel

Lyrics and Music by Claire Raby