posted by rosebleed @ 1:49 AM
I just feel like time is going by so fast. every now and then (especially those times when I'm redoing my website) I read over things I've written in the past, and it scares me how many years have gone by and how little I've gotten done. I worry that I won't get anything done in time before I start to lose my voice (or my hearing!) and my creativity level starts to decline. I've been feeling like I'm getting old since I was 21 and it's only getting worse. what I want now is someone to tell me that it's not a big deal if I don't accomplish everything I intended to, or that if it's so important to me, that I just need to make it happen (<--title of a cheesy Mariah Carey song). I know this is the same conversation I've been having with myself for years, but I feel so different now, I feel optimistic about the future and grateful for the talents that I have. but I don't think I'll ever lose that need to be appreciated, I just wish it would be a driving force instead of a cause of constant self-judgement. I have to remind myself sometimes that I'm not a special unique special snowflake and that I don't have to "go down in the history books," I just have to be happy and maybe my music will make some other people happy along the way.
