Claire Raby : Journal: May 2004

the self esteem is through the roof
posted by rosebleed @ 4:15 AM

I just wanted to say that I'm sort of writing a song, and I think it's fucking ridiculous that I write songs so seldomly that I damn near document every step of the process on this board. maybe the board was a bad idea. maybe the journal is redundant. but the song is sort of boring and depressing like most of my music and as I said to jim (and he didn't disagree with me), it probably sounds a lot better in my head than it really does. it's sort of full of lyrical and vocal clichés (is that possible?) and a chord progression that you barely even notice. but I sort of like it. that's sort of how "lying" came about and people like that sometimes.

and I can't understand why I get all these crazy people on this board. I can't understand why crazy people want to talk to me in general. I'm like the most boring person ever, go freak out someone interesting!

but anyway, it's five in the morning and I just uploaded Eva's new website (http://www.evamusic.com) and I should go to bed but I think I'll play guitar badly instead. and my throat hurts. this makes me exceedingly angry.