Wednesday, August 20, 2003
ok, I've decided...
posted by rosebleed @ 6:18 PM
I hate the song 'meaningless' and as soon as I feel like doing it, I'm taking the clip off the page. eventually I'm going to make 30 second long clips... but they're on my other computer and I'm lazy as shit.

did I mention that the new song I've been working on sounds wayyyy too much like meaningless to play both of them? or maybe that's just an excuse to not play it and to be allowed to use the same guitar parts again and again... I'm so lame (and bad at guitar).

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they say I'm not good enough
posted by rosebleed @ 1:54 AM
ok, I reeeallly want to write something with this theme, but I can't seem to do it. I just always feel overlooked and underrated, and like I can't live up to my potential. Artwork, webpages, music, and everything else I've ever tried to do and failed. And I don't want this to boil down to the same old story of me being lazy and not wanting to work hard for what I want... I just really feel like I'll never be quite good enough for everything. I do a lot of little things really well, but don't do things well as a whole. I've just felt like some silly misunderstood artist or something... like no one will appreciate anything I do until I'm dead.

someone help me write a song about this, because, well, I suck.

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On 12/11/2004 6:54 AM, Blogger rosebleed said...  
on 01/10/04 at 12:29pm, ~Ruby wrote: Well I can't help you with lyrics, but you should never try and live up to someone else's expectations. Believe me, I know - I've been doing that my whole life and it sucks. Just as long as you're good enough for you. I may not be perfect with hitting every note perfectly on my flute and people may not like what comes out, but I don't care. As long as I'm happy myself, it's all good. Like, in music class, our band teacher is the teacher, and we're working on jazz right now (woohoo!) and he had me, Mitch (flute), and Ryan (tenor sax) bring our instruments and do some jazz improvizaton - by making it up. I messed up a bunch and was shaking from head to toe. In the end, I wanted to do it again just because it was wickedly fun! I dropped volleyball because I didn't think I was good enough. I stopped playing soccer because I wasn't good enough for my mom. I feel a lot of the time that I don't live up to my expectations in school (a B in algebra isn't good enough for my mom and a B+ on a science test is bad), sports, and just about everything else I do. I found the one thing I was good at, my flute, and stuck with it. My mom still expects me to be perfect, but if I'm not, I don't care. I'm sure some people may not like your music and some other things you do - you can't expect everyone to. It's if you like it that matters. I feel like a... shrink. Or something. *shrugs*

on 01/12/04 at 12:00am, rosebleed wrote: see, you're totally right.. but it's a lot easier said than done, and when you're trying to be a successful musician or artist, unfortunately, that's what it's all about-- pleasing people. I mean I'm not about to go doing something I don't like to please everyone, but I've always seen music and art as a gift you give to other people, or to the world. if no one likes my music, or no one gets to hear it because I'm not active enough about it, it's such a waste... and it's hard for me to write, I mean it comes naturally, but I never finish anything, and I'm not always happy with how things come out. I just don't have the dedication. I can't understand how people put out albums and albums worth of music... and also, you're much more critical of yourself when say, you're playing one of your songs for another person, but really, that's what it's all for. ... and speaking of sports, the title of this thread was from a really bad song I wrote about being in softball in 7th grade. I'd never done it before but it was always something I wanted to do. everyone else had prior experience and I was just the annoying girl, the tagalong, the bench warmer. I really enjoyed that year and the next year of softball though, once I hit 9th grade, and it got really competitive, I couldn't take it anymore. that and my coach was a dickhead half the time (the other time he was too busy being 'cool' or something, and every now and then he was.. everyone else loved him)

on 01/15/04 at 9:00pm, ~Ruby wrote: Claire - you should come here and perform. :D That'd be awesome. And to anyone who wouldn't like you... well, they're mostly idiots anyway, so it wouldn't matter what they thought. ;) I wish you could come here though. :-/

Saturday, August 02, 2003
"you need a following"
posted by rosebleed @ 7:03 PM
that's what my aunt (ok, she's really a cousin of some sort) said to me when I told her that no one showed up to my show on wednesday. I think I just need someone else that already has a following to leech off of, because it's obvious that no one gives a crap about me. I'm playing the village pub tomorrow. I hate playing that open mic... but I'm going there anyway so I figured I'd play. This is really not as "no one loves me" as it sounds, I'm just a little annoyed, that's all, but these things happen, and I fully expected it to happen anyway. At least I know there will be people at the open mic, even if they tell me to basically shut up and play (I speak a lot less on stage after that happened).

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On 12/11/2004 6:58 AM, Blogger rosebleed said...  
on 08/12/03 at 05:34am, fallenrose wrote: Whoa sorry you feel that way : ( No one should feel like that

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