5/24/09

look! my first fake ska song!
ok, so it's just a crappy video and it's missing a lot of parts that are in the real recording of it, but you can get the jist of it from this video. I showed my mother the video and she told me she didn't understand it, musically. I found that amusing (nothing against her). reminds me of something JR (from ltj) said on his CT Mafia label, "No matter what, if your demo sucks, DON'T SEND IT!! If you don't know if it sucks, ask your parents. If they like it, don't send it."

anyway, here are the rest of the lyrics. I'm a total nerd for writing these odes to my favorite music (and on that note I want to clarify that "sweet dear" is not about a person, it's a reference to Veruca Salt's "Victrola"). this song still isn't finished to me though.


when the coast is clear
(if I could stay here)
I'll finally find a new sweet dear
(for just one moment I could muster up the gall)
and I can't live without these things
but I can't live my life through them

and I'll find you when the coast is clear
(I don't feel safe here)
I'll finally find a new sweet dear
(but if I wander off, I promise not to fall)
and I can't live without them
but I cannot live life through them

and I found you when the coast was clear
(here's to staying out too late)
I finally found my new sweet dear
(and stumbling into every state)
and I can't live without you
(that I can bring myself to)
but I cannot live through you

and I know it's never really clear
(and I'm used to staying up too late)
what'll happen after it leaves my ears
(and sleeping in late every day)
but I can take what silence (stagnance) brings
'cause I can always sing your song
(I know I can always sing your song)

don't know why I cannot find myself
(if I could wait here for one more moment I could wander off alone)
(don't know why I cannot find myself)
I guess I'm lost in the twilight

don't know why I try to hide behind
(don't know my way here, oh I am out of place and out of places to go)
the things I love, they make me real
(won't make me real)

11/10/08

and all I can think is this wasn't supposed to happen
oh I waiver so much that I'm starting to notice a pattern
if I set my standards low will I still feel it in my bones
and how far can I expect this to go
(and all I know is I can't bear to go)

suddenly it seems so familiar
every time I run for the door
energies I waste in retreating to quieter ground
(over and over and over and over again)
every side of my cage must face the sound
(noise I can't escape, in or out)

and all that I feel is laced with an unspoken yearning
to see what would be if I evaded this constant reverting
and all that I know is I can't be there to give my all at once
(and all that I know is I can't ignore all that was)
I wish it were fair that I cannot bear it all
(I never forget a note)

nothing has changed, I stand inbetween freezers and flames
and all I contain will never be matted and framed
and every last inch I try to give is filled in with empty space
(and here we go again)
there's so much more I'm not prepared to face
(why is it so hard to just declare my place)

and I have never felt so far away from you
(don't you feel it too)
but I will hold you close as I have grown to do
(like this weight is pulling me to be finished with you)
if I wake up every day feeling sure that I could stay
is this ever going to go


this has been done for a while now, but I can't for the life of me think of a title of it. I want something that has to do with being pulled in two different directions, opposites. when I record a song I usually take one word from the lyrics and use it as a working title, the problem is I get so attached to that word that nothing else sounds right to me. the word in this case is "pattern," but it's really not a sufficient title, it doesn't satisfy my strict requirements, haha. the awful scratch recording of this might end up on purevolume as soon as I can think of a name...

6:54pm

ok, right now I'm testing out feedblitz.com and considering using a google group. I know I'm wasting my time, but what else is new.

3/12/07

Warning: semi-techno-babble ahead. I set up the notification through feedblitz, it has some drawbacks, but it's pretty straightforward, you don't need to sign up for anything, you just have to type in your email address, you can unsubscribe easily, and the emails aren't too ugly or anything. it checks once a day for updates to the journal and sends out an email if there are any. only problem with that is, if I go find a typo in some super-old journal entry, I'm gonna fix it, and it'll probably consider that an update and send you a link to the entry, and you'll be all: wtf, there's nothing new here! but I'll try to keep that to a minimum, and this is not always a bad thing since I do go to old entries and add things to them (ie. this entry right here). I set it up so you can't read the entry in the email because I don't want to take any traffic away from my site (this is why I didn't do the group thing, blogger has this thing where it will send new entries to an email address you specify, so if you send it to a group address, it goes out to all the group members, just incase you were wondering how that was supposed to work). I think I have the option to put in a footer in the emails and may put in some exclusive links to mp3 files or something, I'm not sure yet. because it only sends out emails once a day, I haven't done any full-fledged testing of this yet, but I'm pretty sure it's good to go (hence me putting the form on the page), to sign up for it just click the subscribe link under the archives. and again, I know that not many people read this journal (I should assume that since I don't have many comments, I don't have many readers), but it's sort of designed to increase the reading of the journal, and maybe I have a few silent lurkers out there, who knows. I usually try to avoid posting boring website entries like this one, but sometimes I can't help it, since I'm not only a mediocre musician, I'm also a mediocre webdesigner/developer.

but, back to something relevant, I can sing again! at least, for the most part. so I am very grateful for that.

(speaking of typos, this whole thing has given me some incentive to proofread, to avoid making a million edits to an entry, and I fixed two semi-ironic typos, both of which I make all the time, one being "type" instead of "typo" and the other being "sign" instead of "sing". I'm all about irony, even when it's as incredibly pointless as this, so I just had to share that. I'll shut up now.)

5/14/07

oh, and apparently edits don't show up on the notification emails. oh well, that could be a good or a bad thing.