Sunday, September 07, 2014
align my thoughts like objects in a row
posted by forrestrose @ 11:25 PM

the only role I know how to play
is woman scorned and gone astray
and there's no one alive that could divert my fate
I am self-prophesied to decay

let go, let go, don't let yourself go
are you running around run aground?
let go, let go, don't you dare let him know
you're enclosing your heart in his hands

(let go, don't let yourself go
you don't even notice you're adrift in the road
let go, don't let yourself go
you can't let him know your heart is exposed)

(no one alive, there's none left alive)

let go, let go, don't let yourself go
are you spiraling out, dying down?
and get set, go, are you scared to go forward with
entrusting your heart in his hands?

(maintain composure, I'm under control, over'n'out
entertain the notion that patience will eventually win out)

let go, let go, don't let yourself go
(maintain composure, I'm here with your ghost, shutting down)
I am here with your ghost, shutting down
let go, let go, don't let yourself go
(entertain the notion that reason will eventually win out)
I hope reason will eventually win out

------

I watch the outline of your fingers fade
and imprint it in my brain alongside every inch of your face
align my thoughts like objects in a row
I'll never get this straight, and I'll never let it go

if I drop a coin in this jar, maybe I'll be saved
("god save you, save you" / "save ourselves")
do you play with knives like I wander the streets at night
to prove you're not afraid?

I tend to be attentive to the details
in my scheme of things, insignificance is all that's real
my truth transforms into fiction behind my eyes
it hides in the light ("the light behind your eyes")

firelight in the snow
I prayed for your safe home
my former life comes to close
("[when] you can't get home")
another blank headstone
but what can I say
it is never too late to grow old
and what if I save myself
only to be stuck in the cold ("so close")

one step too many
three for every
five stages of grief
("a denial, a denial")
we're sick, so sullied
from seven days running
we're tired of losing sleep
(I ate my pride for you)

I tell myself I love you
but what have I come to
I listen close for word of you
oh, what have you come to
(my ears open, my heart is shut
I procreate my own bad luck)
what have we come to?

one step too many
three for every
five stages of grief
we're sick, so sullied
("denial, a denial")
from seven days running
I hate myself over you

one, two, three, I'll bleed this disease
for five days straight into defeat
cease to be so accepting of extremes
be grateful for this grain of wheat

(I tell myself I love you
but what have we come to
I'll listen close for word of you
oh, what have we come to

I tell myself I love you
but what have you done now
I'll wait here for word from you
oh, what have I come to)



one of my favorite things I've ever written is the line "hearing the lies I tell myself aloud," because a lot of my songwriting is exactly that, expressing something I subconsciously believe to be true, whether or not it's true in reality.  the second song here, "details" is very much about that-- can I let myself believe something even if I know it to be fiction?  and at what cost to my own personal health and to real interpersonal relationships?  what if it isn't that I can't see the "bigger picture" but instead choose not to?  this song has sampled a lot of songs by artists I love, namely veruca salt, evelyn red and nirvana.  there's a nice tie-in about recalling relevant song lyrics and obsessively recalling specific moments of my life.  "it hides in the light" is a reference to the x-files episode "folie √† deux" and compares unwanted thoughts to monsters, and is about attempting to appear "normal" while facing inner turmoil.

"let go" uses a theme that shows up in a lot of my songs, where it is a second voice-- a reassuring parental or authoritative one, but also a positive version of myself-- advising me.  I usually defy this voice, I embrace self-destruction and stubbornness.  my favorite line in this song is "don't you dare let him know you're enclosing your heart in his hands" --it's a clich√© gesture to symbolically place an object in another's hands and close yours around them, and I love the imagery of placing a live, beating heart in someone's hands and the fear of it being literally squeezed and crushed, along with the double entendre of enclosing a keepsake in a letter.


Comments (0):



Archives

<< Home

<< Hide
Receive notification of
updates via email:
Powered by
FeedBlitz

preview message format