Saturday, January 05, 2013
I will need assistance deconstructing this design
posted by forrestrose @ 12:59 AM

I could fall for you and fall into
a pattern that I have set for myself
and I refuse to give in to my abuse
of the line between interesting and intertwined-with-everything

but when will I learn that not all
desire has to be all or none

so I'm "over you" and need someone new
to occupy my mind from the boredom "real life" induces
so I'll distract myself by becoming someone else
but I'll never realize roles I unrealistically assume
(until they realize that I am not what they assume)

but when will I learn that not all
the impulses I feel, do I have to follow


and you were just a symptom'f my disorderly life and
I am just a victim'f my need to be victimized and
I am sure these roads will be cleared
but I can't see past debris that we've collected here

and I will need assistance deconstructing this design and
we are just the victims of a system in decline and
no one knows where we go from here
but we can be lost together in collective fear

and I will count the minutes till we find some peace of mind and
we adjust the hours just to fall back into line
(just in time to fall behind)
I can't believe we still believe that anything is meant to be this way
(I don't believe in anything anyway)
(don't believe our destinies are fated)

don't hold on too tight to the concept of "right" and
don't hang on too long to the ones who're bound to wrong you and
don't be afraid, these things are sure to take your breath away
(why are you so fearful when everyone can feel fulfilled this way)


up and then down, can't
figure me out, and
up and down, I
play along now
I'm riding it out


up and at 'em
I shower in song
(feed on recollection)
and recollection

in and out, and
over then around, can't
figure you out
I'm sick of these rounds
of certain then doubt


see what happens
when you let life happen
(when you see what happens)


wipe the disappointment from my eyes
I feel it festering beside the lines
and honesty is not your best policy
I fear I'm walking into a time bomb

plummeting in our falling out
emptiness is calling now
communication dying out
all the words are silent now

I've surely written all of these almost entirely via twitter and facebook posts, but I felt they deserved to be read as a whole, both individually and as a group of songs.  the only one I'd like to comment on is "disorder" and how it draws a parallel between societal/social decline and mental illness.  both that there seems to be a correlation between the rise of mental illness and the downturn of our society, and that the elements of a person's life-- social relationships, responsibilities, etc., parallel the workings (or non-workings in this case) of a society.  the line about anything being "meant to be" is a commentary on ideas like "soul mates" and fate, and also about how we are taught to believe our society is "supposed to" be the way it is, but "supposed to" and "should" are opinions.  the line about "the concept of right" is also about my rejection of the idea of "soul mates," as well as how subjective "right and wrong" can be.

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