Monday, June 25, 2012
high maintenance
posted by forrestrose @ 11:02 PM

dear self, please, get out'the way
I'm on my last nerve today
I'm almost ready to fall in place
I'm almost ready to break your face

mirror, mirror, why do you betray
everyone that stands in your way
what do you expect me to see
when all you portray is out of place

wake up, it's just another day
full of debts that you cannot repay
how much can I really undertake
with all this weight on my fragile frame

can you handle it
can you handle it
can you handle it
all the maintenance

can you handle it
can you handle it
can you handle it
all this maintenance


-------------------------------


why would I think that to take my pain away would mean enduring it yourself and
why would I think that to take your charity would be a betrayal to myself and
why would I think that this is the only way
why would I think if I couldn't take your pain away it would be a reflection of my worth and
why would I think that to take the easy way would be insulting my endurance
why would I think that there is no other way

why would I think that to take your charity would be an insult to my worth and
why would I think that to take my pain away would add to all that you endure and
why would I think that this is the only way
why would I think that to take your pain away would mean enduring it myself and
why would I think that to take the easy way would be a denial of ourselves and
why would I think that there is no other way


both works in progress, the first is a would-be ska tune that's totally upbeat and fun, despite being about my ineptitude at "real life."  the second is a sway-y ballad that I so want to make into a round, but am having a bit of a hard time with.  they both need a bit of filler in between "verses", and the second I'm likely going to mix with an old song, "control," that has the same guitar chords.  and I have to say that I'm impressed with the amount of syllables I've fit into this song.  I feel like this song is musically inspired by all the horrible pop music I've been listening to at work, but I think that's neat in a way.  lyrically it was inspired by something a friend said to me that I completely misinterpreted because I'm vain and think in extremes, which is really what this is about, overthinking/irrational thinking, and challenging your own perceptions.  the line about "charity" is about my inability to take gifts graciously, I'm constantly resistant and guilt-ridden about it.  ten points if you remember the House episode on the same subject.  and also, "there is no other way" is a bit of a self-reference to "no other way to live."  my favorite line in this is the "denial of ourselves" line, because it's my way of saying that we try to make everything easy on ourselves to our own detriment, but I take it to the extreme sometimes and will do things that are way more difficult than necessary, also to my own detriment.


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