Wednesday, December 21, 2011
everything I say will be cemented in some hopeless, terrifying shape
posted by forrestrose @ 2:08 AM

while I'm posting finished songs, I figure I'll post two songs that have been done for a while that I never posted lyrics to, one is on my myspace page ("oh, dear"), the other ("tied down") will surface eventually. I would say I make no apologies for these songs, because the songs are, themselves, apologies (it makes me wonder if I've been writing that way for my whole life?), but I do want to say that "tied down" was based on a misinterpretation/misconception and is, in effect, a piece of pseudo-fiction... its "addendum" (the last part, which is not in the recording) is reflecting on this. and I'm hoping the reciting of the alphabet in "oh, dear" is distinguishable, the letters A through K are buried in the all the lines of the "chorus." the middle part of this song is a slightly older song I decided to marry with this one because they worked together.



oh dear, oh dear, I'm sorry to say
it's so easy to think of you this way
I never thought I could entertain this delusion, this child's play
I wonder if I have ever really changed

my dear, my dear, I've been meaning to say
I don't envy that people think of you this way
we hang onto your every phrase
it's ritual to violate your privacy
but is this a price you should pay

a beseeching melody accompanies your effigy
(a·b·c·d·e·f·g I feel like I am still thirteen)
but a child isn't as jaded as me
(still I sing your cadence in my sleep)

dear me, dear me, I think I'm crazy
I've dotted every t, but my ends won't seem to meet
(cross my eyes and hope to bleed)

what if I will never see
any of the things that I had hoped I would achieve
at this point I'd settle for being ordinary
in the middle of the night
I'm so afraid that I have wasted my life
and everything I say
will be cemented in some hopeless, terrifying shape
oh but when did I succumb to this debilitating rage

oh dear, oh dear, I'm sorry to say
(I've been meaning to say)
it's so easy to think of you this way
(I don't envy that people think of you this way)
I never thought I could entertain this delusion, this child's play
(a beseeching melody accompanies your effigy)
but a child isn't as jaded as me
(still I sing your cadence in my sleep)

a beseeching melody accompanies your effigy but a child isn't as jaded as me
(I wonder if I'll change, I wonder if this game will end in only pain)
a·b·c·d·e·f·g I feel like I am still fourteen but a child isn't as jaded as me
(I wonder if I'll change, I wonder will this game end in only pain)
a beseeching melody accompanies your effigy but a child isn't as jaded as me
(I wonder if I'll change, I wonder if this game will end in only pain)
(I wonder will this game end in only pain)
a·b·c·d·e·f·g I feel like I am still fifteen but a child isn't as jaded as me
oh dear me


---


drunken thank-you's
warm-hearted reflections
spilling over with best of intentions
push my boundaries and question inflections
falling into this trap of deception

you can't be tied down
you can't be won over so easily
you can't be expected to love everyone
that wishes to be
tied down, needed by you
so pick and choose
do what you'll do

and I can't blame you for the girl
that you snuck off with last night
and I can't blame you for
tripping over me
so invisibly in your way
so afraid to feel this way
so afraid to meet your gaze

and your eyes sparkle like the lights
are always shining on them
and I am struck down by all the times
I've caught my reflection in them
(they've fallen in my direction)
and there is no way for me to say
that I have been captured by them
and there is no way that I will play
the role of the love-struck super-fan




and now all that I feel is shame
and I cannot believe that I've really laid out this claim
and I'm wandering past your lane
(and I'm circling 'round your domain)
and I cannot sit still but I cannot play out this game


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